Sadie Hawkins Scars
by I Need Space - And Fresh Air
Summary: Missing scene from S3 Ep19 Promasaurus . Blaine breaks down and finally tells Kurt about the Sadie Hawkins dance and what he's been hiding ever since.


Author's Note - The Season 3 prom episode really bothered me in that Blaine didn't really put up any sort of argument about prom except for the hair gel ban. This is my take on why he did that...

Warnings: homophobic language, violence, OC character death

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. (If I did, Blaine would have graduated with Kurt, or even a year ahead of him... he would not have been Benjamin Buttoned down to junior status Season 3.)

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"Do you really think I look like Borat?"

Kurt looked up from his spot on the bed and over at his boyfriend who was standing in front of the full-length mirror of their hotel room, haphazardly trying to pat down his fluffy hair to no avail. He cringed slightly, remembering the joke he made a couple hours ago at prom, but couldn't help but smile at the same time. Blaine's hair was still sticking up all over the place.

"Maybe not Borat, per se... but maybe if he had a sexy younger brother," Kurt mused as he got up from the bed and made his way behind the other boy. Kurt slid a free hand into the one Blaine had up to his own hair and guided it down until both of their hands were resting on Blaine's stomach. "I know I'm about as superficial and vain as it gets when it comes to presenting oneself to society, but honestly, Blaine, I don't care what your hair looks like right now." Blaine watched in the mirror as Kurt planted a line of kisses, each one softer than the next, up his neck, stopping right behind his ear. He shivered as Kurt whispered, "I just want you. Right now. Dance with me?"

Blaine's cheeks flushed pink. He and Kurt have been together for well over a year and somehow it still made him blush when Kurt vocalized his want for Blaine. He was wanted. Blaine was wanted. That hadn't always been the case. He found himself blinking back tears that hadn't quite formed yet.

Kurt started humming "Teenage Dream" as he slowly spun his boyfriend around, then did a seductive little shimmy. They both laughed then fell into each other's arms and settled into a slow dance. Kurt kept humming, a little softer now, as Blaine buried his head in the crook of Kurt's neck.

They swayed for a while, lost in their own thoughts. Kurt smiled as they rock back and forth, still in disbelief that he'd been to not one, but two school dances with his boyfriend. Blaine's face crumbled, tears silently streaming down his cheeks and onto Kurt's shoulder. Kurt didn't notice for a moment, but then jerked away quickly when the tears finally soaked through his thin white shirt.

"Blaine! What's wrong? I – I," Kurt held his boyfriend at arm's length to properly search his face for some sort of answers of why he was crying.

Blaine wiped his knuckles across his eyes to get rid of the evidence on his face, but it was far from too late. He sniffled and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kurt. It's nothing. I just - "

His eyebrows furrowed and his chest involuntarily heaved a heavy sigh before more tears fell. Kurt's eyes were wide as he guided Blaine over to the bed and seated him before sitting down by his side. Kurt rubbed circles over Blaine's back with one hand and wiped away his tears with the other.

"Hey, hey, shhh, shhh." Kurt watched as Blaine eventually calmed himself down. "Are you okay?"

Blaine looked down as if his shoes were suddenly the most interesting things in the room. He slowly shook his head no as his breathing continued to steady. Kurt wanted to launch into a barrage of questions, but stilled himself, waiting for his boyfriend to make the first move. After a minute, Blaine realized Kurt wasn't going to ask him anything, so he closed his eyes and summoned the courage to look up and face Kurt's epic look of confusion.

The stared at each other and Blaine's insides hurt when he saw the panic behind Kurt's eyes. New tears began to prickle at Blaine's eyes and Kurt quickly ran his hand up from Blaine's back, to his neck and then to his hairline, hoping to comfort his boyfriend. Just as Kurt began to work his fingers further up into Blaine's hair, Blaine flinched. Kurt's eyes widened once again and he immediately pulled his hand away.

Both boys apologized at the same time. Kurt's "I'm sorry" was laced with guilt for making Blaine react in such a negative way. Blaine's was laced with guilt for scaring his boyfriend.

Blaine quickly grabbed Kurt's hand and apologized again. "I'm sorry. Kurt, I – I'm sorry."

The newfound tension in Kurt's shoulders lessened a bit with Blaine's apology, but his eyes were still wide and his question came out shaky. "Wh-what just happened?"

Blaine swallowed, giving himself a second to collect his thoughts. It was time, he thought to himself. It was time Kurt knew.

Blaine's hand that was holding Kurt's began to shake a bit. Kurt watched as Blaine guided their hands back up into Blaine's hair. Kurt started to question his action, "Blaine, I –," but stopped talking as soon as he started. Their hands were now buried in the hair covering the right side of Blaine's head. Blaine slowly dragged Kurt's fingers along his scalp, waiting for Kurt to feel what's been hidden beneath a thick layer of hair gel for the past few years.

The sound of their breathing was deafening in the otherwise silent room. Blaine watched Kurt's face and could tell the exact moment he first felt the raised scar on his head. Blaine left Kurt's hand in his hair and brought his own back down to his lap. Tears began to cloud Kurt's blue eyes as his fingers continued along for a few more inches.

"Oh, Blaine…" Kurt's hand slid from Blaine's hair to cup his cheek.

Blaine sighed and gave Kurt a sad half smile. "Remember when I told you that my friend and I got the crap kicked out of us at the Sadie Hawkins dance?"

Kurt's eyebrows shot up toward his hairline, "Oh, sweetie, we don't need to talk about that now."

"Yes we do, Kurt." Blaine closed his eyes again as a tear snuck out. He shook his head as he talked. "We're supposed to tell each other everything and I should have told you this already. I'm sorry." Blaine opened his eyes and looked over at his boyfriend through tears.

Kurt gave Blaine a sad smirk. He's always wanted to hear about the Sadie Hawkins dance, but never dared ask Blaine for details. Now that he knew about the scar, he was more than ready to listen.

Blaine exhaled loudly, psyching himself up. He took both of Kurt's hands in his and calmed a bit when Kurt started rubbing his thumbs over Blaine's knuckles. "Okay, where do I begin? Um, so… remember when you and I watched Drive Me Crazy a few months ago?"

Kurt was instantly confused. What does their crappy movie night have anything to do with a dance Blaine went to years ago? "Um, yeah…"

Blaine noticed the confused look on his boyfriend's face and actually cracked a bit of a smile. "It's a relevant question, I promise. So, remember the movie?" Kurt nodded. "Remember the main guy from the movie and how his hair was kind of-," Blaine released Kurt's hands and made a gesture with his own around his head, miming a full head of hair. "Well, when I was at my old school before Dalton… uh, my hair looked like that."

He continued on with his story and doesn't notice one of Kurt's eyebrows sliding up as he imagined a pre-gelled Blaine.

"Kids used to blow spitballs and stuff into my hair, but I liked it. Not the spitballs. My hair. I liked it. And, uh, Travis liked it." The name of the other boy caught Kurt's attention and once again his eyes were locked with Blaine's.

Blaine blinked a few times when he saw Kurt's reaction. This was definitely the first time he's mentioned Travis to anyone after the incident at the dance. He knew he should have told Kurt sooner. He told Kurt everything… well, almost everything.

"Um, Travis was my lab partner in Chemistry. We became friends after he helped me get some gum out of my hair with the chemicals we were supposed to be testing for one of our assignments." Blaine gave a small smile at the memory. "I knew he was gay and he seemed to know I was gay before I could even admit it to myself. He, uh, was the first person I came out to…"

Blaine heaved a heavy sign and continued, almost rambling. "I asked Travis to the Sadie Hawkins dance because he was the only other out kid in school and because we were best friends by that point. It wasn't just like he was my only option… I mean, he was, but I wanted to go with him. Well, you know, because…" Blaine looked over at Kurt, eyes pleading for him to understand that that was then. Had Kurt been in Blaine's life a few years before, there would never have been a need to go to the dance with Travis. Kurt could read Blaine like a book and gave him a knowing look of understanding.

Kurt nodded to indicate that he was still listening to Blaine's story, encouraging him to go on. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but he knew he had to let Blaine keep talking.

Blaine swallowed hard and launched back into his story. Kurt stilled himself for the new information he was about to learn.

"This was the first dance for either of us, so we did everything we thought we were supposed to do. We got each other boutonnieres… our moms took pictures of us in his mom's garden. We did all those stupid poses. And then my mom drove us to the dance." He smiled at the memory, but that quickly faded. "You know, my mom was crying when Travis and I got out of the car? She said 'Be careful, sweetie,' and then she just lost it. Maybe she knew… Huh." Blaine peeled his eyes away from Kurt's and gave a short laugh, but there was no humor behind it.

Kurt watched Blaine get lost in his own thoughts for a moment. He knew they hadn't even gotten to the worst part of the story yet, but his heart was already broken for his boyfriend and this Travis kid. It was weird to suddenly have a name to go with the story he had heard about only once before. Kurt's mouth slid into a frown as he wondered what ever happened to Travis and why Blaine hadn't ever brought him up before. This couldn't end well.

Gentle hands cradled his own and startled Blaine back to the present. He snapped his head back up and angled himself toward Kurt. After a deep breath, he continued.

"We were at the dance for, I dunno, maybe half an hour? I remember wanting to ask him to dance, but being too afraid to. The thing was, I was afraid to ask him to dance because I liked him… not because I was scared that something would happen to us. That thought didn't even cross my mind… so we stood by the punch bowl and talked about the crappy music. It was so bad, Kurt. Like, adult contemporary-bad."

Both boys managed genuine smiles, albeit small ones.

"After awhile, Travis asked if I wanted to leave. I mean, we weren't dancing, so what was the point of hanging around the gym? I remember nodding to him and then he took my hand and dragged me down the hall toward the doors to the parking lot. We still had some time to kill before his dad picked us up, so we ended up sitting on a cement wall."

Blaine sighed. "I was so nervous. Like, we had been alone before because we were friends and stuff… but there we were, sitting in our tuxes." Kurt's eyebrows involuntarily raised themselves a bit, causing Blaine to chuckle. "Yes, Kurt, tuxes." Kurt blushed. "Anyway… he sat really close to me and I -." Blaine abruptly cut himself off, dropped his hands away from Kurt's and looked at his boyfriend with the same pleading eyes from before. Kurt's blush faded quickly as his unconditional need to comfort and reassure Blaine took over. He knew that Blaine liked Travis. Hell, Blaine might have thought he loved Travis – and maybe he did as much as any freshman can comprehend love. But that was then and this is now. He's with Blaine now and right now Blaine needed to know that his feelings for Travis were never wrong.

"Blaine, it's okay. You can tell me anything."

Kurt watched as Blaine nodded to himself and ran his hands through his still very fluffy hair. He pulled at it, causing it to stick out even further.

"I wanted to kiss him," Blaine admitted quietly, as he finally brought his hands back down to his lap. "Or rather, I wanted him to kiss me." Kurt's heart pounded in his chest. It's not that he's possessive of Blaine – well, he was, but not in this situation. No, Kurt felt for freshman Blaine. He briefly imagined himself in the same position and knew he'd want to be kissed too. Kurt absentmindedly started rubbing circles on his boyfriend's back again.

"And then he did." Blaine smiled to himself, thinking fondly of that brief happy memory.

Kurt's yanked himself out of his own imagination and rooted himself back in the present, his blue eyes widening with realization and envy. His hand stopped mid-circle near Blaine's still-tensed shoulder blade. Was that Blaine's first kiss?

Blaine, noticing Kurt's backrub had stopped, looked over at Kurt. His own head nodded up and down, silently answering the question Kurt didn't even have to ask.

"I felt like I was going to explode or something. In that moment I had everything I ever wanted. I was at my first school dance with the guy I liked and had a perfect first kiss." Blaine's voice suddenly turned bitter. "And then _they_ came and ruined everything."

Kurt let out a long breath that he didn't even realize he was holding in. He closed his eyes, then opened them to find Blaine now had his eyes closed and his head tilted up toward the ceiling.

"The came up from behind Travis… I didn't even see them."

Kurt could empathize, but didn't say as much. He remembered once when he was on such a high from reading one of Blaine's first texts to him that he didn't even see Karofsky walk right up to him and shove him into a locker. He knew deep down that Blaine was probably in a daze from his first kiss that he wouldn't have even noticed if Katy Perry was standing right next to him. Blaine's obliviousness was both endearing and in this case, dangerous.

Blaine's head dropped back down and he stared at the floor. "There were three of them – Danny, Randy and Kyle. They were all on the baseball team. They had – uh – just finished a game because they were walking to their cars in their uniforms. And they, um, had their gear."

It was Kurt's turn to close his eyes because he had a horrible feeling he knew what was coming next.

"Randy pulled Travis to the ground and started kicking him in the back and calling him a f-," Blaine choked on the word. "A faggot. I leapt off the wall and tried to grab him, but Kyle held me back so that Danny could punch me in my stomach."

Kurt could hear Blaine's voice break and his eyes flew open to see tears rolling down his boyfriend's face.

"By this point, Randy was stepping on Travis and kicking him in the crotch with his cleats. I called for help, but no one was around. So, I spat in Danny's face, thinking that would get him to stop." Blaine laughed a humorless laugh at himself.

"I just kept yelling for them to back off or for someone to get help… and while I was trying to kick Kyle out from behind me, Danny got his bat from his bag. Before he swung at me, he said 'I'm going to knock the queer off your face, Anderson.'"

Kurt's eyebrows flew up as his chest heaved. "Oh, Blaine…"

"I somehow managed to turn my head before his bat hit my face. But, he was left handed, so when he swung, he – uh – got me right here." Blaine pointed to the side of his head where Kurt now knew was the home of that scar.

Blaine swallowed. "I woke up in a hospital the next day with 20 stitches and some cracked ribs."

"What happened to Travis, Blaine?"

Blaine hesitated, not trusting himself to keep it together. He looked over at Kurt and both boys teared up. "He… he…" Blaine couldn't get the words out, and shook his head as his body began to tremble. Kurt reached out and pulled Blaine into a tight hug.

Kurt rocked his boyfriend and rubbed his back, wishing he could do more to ease Blaine's pain. Blaine's sobs subsided after awhile and he sat up, arms still clutched to Kurt's.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I probably just ruined your shirt."

Kurt's face fell. How could Blaine be thinking about his shirt at a time like this? "Blaine Anderson, don't you dare apologize right now."

Blaine sniffled, "Sorry." He winced, having apologized right after Kurt said not to. He gave a sad smile, which then morphed into a heartbroken frown. Blaine shook his head, still not believing the realities of that night. "He was gone before we even got to the hospital."

Both boys sat in silence for what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute or so.

Kurt brought one of his hands up to Blaine's cheeks and wiped his tears away. "I am so sorry, Blaine." He knew his words weren't enough, but what else was he supposed to say?

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand so it remained on his cheek. He leaned into Kurt's hand and closed his eyes. "I know. And thank you. I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry."

Kurt shook his head. "No, no… Blaine, no. You didn't have to tell me anything if you didn't want to." Kurt suddenly felt ill, thinking that Blaine must think he was so selfish to make him go to multiple school dances. "Oh god, Blaine, I never would have forced you to go to prom last year!" Kurt was mortified. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry! I - "

Blaine's heart broke again at the terrified look on Kurt's face. It wasn't Kurt's fault he didn't want to go to prom last year. He didn't know the whole story. And Blaine knew he didn't know the whole story.

"No, you deserved to go." His voice grew soft and sad, "I wanted _you_ to have a good first dance."

Kurt smiled sadly at his selfless boyfriend and brought his hand back up to Blaine's hair. Blaine didn't flinch this time as Kurt wove his fingers through the fluff to stroke the long, thin line of Blaine's scar. He was so used to Blaine's hair gel that he was still getting used to being able to feel this part of Blaine.

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Your hair is so soft." Blaine smiled at the compliment, but that quickly dropped off his face.

Kurt thought he was changing the subject but quickly became worried, thinking he triggered something else.

"I did it on purpose, you know," Blaine replied, ashamed.

A confused look washed over Kurt's face once again. "Did what on purpose?"

Blaine sighed. "After Brittany made me wash out my gel tonight, I dried it so that it stuck out like this so she'd have to let me gel it down again."

Kurt's eyebrows screwed themselves into an even more confused state. "Why on Earth would you do that, Blaine?"

Blaine sighed again and leaned back on the bed so that his feet were still on the floor, but the rest of him was lying down. "My hair has a natural part on the right side of my head. I need the gel so I can part it on the other side so no one can see my scar."

Kurt turned slightly so he could see his boyfriend. Blaine's eyes were closed again, but Kurt still watched his face as he spoke.

"My parents transferred me to Dalton as soon as I got out of the hospital. My first day of school was a Friday. My stitches were to be taken out that Saturday, so I had to deal with a whole day of not only being the new kid, but being the new kid with crazy hair and a giant row of stitches in his head."

Blaine breathed heavily out of his nose. He opened his eyes and leaned up on an elbow so he could look at Kurt, whom Blaine knew had been staring at him this whole time.

"On Saturday, the stitches came out and I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out how to style my hair to cover that scar. I thought it'd be easy because my hair was long and I could just comb over it." Blaine shook he his head at his younger self's ignorance.

"My mom found me on the floor of my bathroom with her bottle of hairspray and every comb I could find, but it was no use. I couldn't hide the scar without looking like a slob. And you know how it is at Dalton… So, she took me to the barber on Sunday, promised me an endless supply of hair gel and by Monday I looked just as dapper as everyone else." Blaine shrugged his shoulders. "By that week's end, I had joined the Warblers and no one even remembered what my hair looked like or that I had a giant scar. So I've kept it up ever since. Easy as that." Blaine's defeat could not be covered by his attempt at nonchalance.

Kurt frowned then reached over and grabbed Blaine by the arm. He pulled his boyfriend back up into a sitting position and quickly wrapped him in a loving hug. He snaked his fingers up Blaine's neck once again and let them tangle in the fluff at Blaine's hairline. Blaine smiled against Kurt's neck.

"I love you, you know." Kurt pulled away from Blaine just far enough so they could look each other in the eye. Kurt continued to speak as tears snuck their way down Blaine's cheeks once again. "I love your passion." Kurt gently kissed Blaine's right eyelid. "I love your bravery." Kurt gently kissed Blaine's left eyelid. "I love your honesty." Kurt gently kissed Blaine's forehead. "I love you." Kurt gently kissed Blaine's lips, then pulled back and looked him square in the eye. "All of you." Kurt ran his left hand through the hair covering Blaine's scar as Blaine leaned into the touch and smiled.

He knew he made the right decision to tell Kurt about that night. Despite the scars of his past and present – he was loved. Blaine was loved.


End file.
